“It’s the Most Depressing Time of the Year”
November 24th, 2016 @ 8:15 pm


I’m writing this one not in a crying bout at the moment.  It will come.

Why am I calling this the most depressing time of the year?  Basically, it’s the time of the year I hit my lowest.  It’s the time around my birthday.  I can’t help but wonder what I haven’t tackled and should have tackled by now.  Using a phrase I was taught in Girl Scouts at age, “Comparisons are odious.” I know I should do it, but I can’t help it. While other people are in awe of me, I am not.  I feel like there are things I’m missing out on.

It’s the time of the year my mother died.   It miss her a lot.  When I get into these bouts, I want to talk to her.  She’s the one I could always depend on. On my way back from Augusta the other day, I was in the car and just started crying as I listed to some music.  I had had a great trip, but had a dream on the trip that just got to me.  I can rationalize the dream on a intellectual level, but on the emotional level, it hit me like a gut punch.

So yes, I give people warnings as to why I am distanced this time of year.  It’s supposed to be a happy one.  And it’s hard to be happy when you’re at your lowest.  And maybe on day, I won’t be alone.  I really think it’s about feeling all alone.

With that being said, I decided to do something this year for someone else.  I decided to create two boxes for Operation Christmas Child. I don’t have a husband, boyfriend, nor kids, but I wanted to give the Christmas miracle to a couple of kids.  I made a box for a boy and a girl, each, about age 10-14.  I decided that would be the best age to get my gift.  I don’t know how often they get boxes, but I know with the Angel Trees here in the States, those kids are always the last to be taken off the tree.

I should chip in for a kid here locally as well.  I will see.

For the OCC kids, I gave each a magic towel, a dish towel, soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, some pencils, a pencil sharpener, scissors, a flashlight, a New Testament Bible, a pad of paper, a small Christmas ornament, and some Everlasting Gobstobbers.  For the boy, I gave him Hot Wheels, a pair of wire cutting pliers, a small football, a yo-yo, a Rubik’s Cube, and a few other items I felt a boy would like. For the girl, I gave her a coloring book with crayons, a teddy bear, a necklace, and a coin purse, to name a few. I also sent them a Christmas card with postcards with a little note on each one.

I am hoping that what I gave in each box is enough to broaden their horizons.  The Bible isn’t so much as to proselytize, but I thought a great way to try to allow the kids to learn English. Many people have learned English from the Bible alone.  I want them to see that the world is theirs for the taking.

So, while I will be suffering depression, I hope my actions to fight it will help others.  And believe it or not, I am looking forward to seeing where the boxes end up.  If a child wants to write me, even better.

Life

2 Comments

  1. Kim said,

    November 30, 2016 at 2:31 pm

    Giving to others is a great way to conquer depression! Hope you can find some peace this season.

  2. Shawn said,

    November 30, 2016 at 10:07 pm

    Thanks, Kim. I will find some peace once my birthday is over.

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