“You haven’t missed it, it’s all ahead of you”
June 17th, 2016 @ 6:02 pm


Over the weekend, I had a really bad depression bout.  I had heard some news that had made me question my worth.  Ok, I admit, I felt worthless. I felt horrible.  I was out of town and called home to ask me dad to tell me he loves me.  Even Nicki was worried about me hearing me cry. My friends on Facebook were worried about me when I opened up. For the most part, when I get depressed and have an attack (panic or bi-polar, take your pick), I usually keep them hidden from everyone except for a select few.

The next day, however, I felt a freedom.  The sense to be free to be who I am.

I’m still lonely.  I still have days I think I will be forever alone. But, I have to live my life.  Do what I enjoy.

I decided to study for a Technician Class License for  amateur radio.  It’s something I’ve been puddling around to getting since 1996.  I took a couple of weeks studying up for in my junior year of high school. I never got it.  Tried again 10 years later and still never got it.  Maybe third time is a charm. I can always go dig out one of my old college books to help.

I also realized that I have been slacking off on my tech skills.  I ordered a new cheap computer to install a Linux distro on to refresh and learn more about the Linux side of things.  I took a PHP class in college, but dropped it due to time constraints. I did use LAMP, however, for my final project. Since then, nothing.  It might do me some good to brush up on these skills.

Geek · Life

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