How did we live with VCRs?
Posted on June 30th, 2016 @ 8:43 pm

No really.  I’ve become so spoiled with DVRs, DVDs, Blu-Rays, HDTV, and Online Streaming.  My dad and I went out to get a VCR yesterday.  Being the family historian, I figured it was time to go find my sisters’ old dance tapes to transfer to DVD.

The video quality is so poor on these! They did not hold up well in the years since.

At the moment, I am setting up the recording of my sisters’ dancing school performing at the 1993 International Folk Festival in Fayetteville, NC.  I think it was a girls’ day out, with my dad at home with my brother and Grandmother.  My sisters are the dancers.  My mom was in the crowd, being the stage mother, making sure Beth remembered her cues.  As for me?  You can see my dumb butt in the background being the goofy gopher.  That was my job that day. I ran back and forth between my mother and my sisters with the stuff the needed. Other mothers used me as their gophers, too.

As I’m watching these tapes, I’m wondering what was I doing at that time.  I know I was in a giant bout of depression.  So, right then and there, it’s kind of noticeable with my hair.  You really can’t see my face. I was also doing goofy things, too.  At one point, I have Nicki’s fedora on.


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Family · Geek



How can a different take on a song sound so brilliant?
Posted on June 27th, 2016 @ 5:49 pm

Say you’ll see me again even if it’s just in your wildest dreams

I really love “Wildest Dreams” by Taylor Swift. Mainly, because I just want to be remembered. Curiosity got the best of me to take a gander listing to Ryan Adam’s cover of the song.

It’s same song. Ryan changed up just a few lyrics to match his gender. Taylor’s singing about a guy. Ryan’s singing about a gal. And yet, the change in the song works.

However, both are awesome.  You probably know Taylor’s.  I urge to listen to Ryan’s.


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Music · Videos



Walking Down Memory Lane
Posted on June 26th, 2016 @ 5:02 pm

I will be walking one day
Down a street far away
And see a face in the crowd and smile
Knowing how you made me laugh
Hearing sweet echoes of you from the past
I will remember you.

I just never expected that street to be Abercorn St. and possibly be your face. 😆

You start to think about some things and then they snowball.  Today’s path down the yellow brick memory road took me to 1993. I think.  One summer night, my mother wanted Cracker Barrel.  What she did was ended up loading us kids into the car and driving to Lumberton, NC.  It was the nearest Cracker Barrel to us at the time.  It was 40 miles away.

Another time, which I think was in 1992.  She wanted Sonic.  There nearest Sonic to us was 28 miles away up in Sanford, NC.  Again, we all got into the car and drove to Sonic for dinner.

My mother would get on these kicks and drive us to nearby towns in NC if it had the restaurant she wanted to eat at.

Fayetteville/Spring Lake didn’t have Krystal or Captain D’s the time we lived there. When she got her new van in summer of 1993, Goldsboro, where the dealership was, had a Captain’s D.  We ate dinner there.  And yes, this was pre-Internet.  She contacted an out-of-town dealer to help her purchase and new vehicle. Goldsboro was about 60 miles from Ft. Bragg.

I also remember one trip to Carthage, NC.  We went there to see a pageant that some friends of the time were competing in.  Carthage was 40 miles from Ft. Bragg.  She didn’t care how far it was.  She wanted to go.  So, she took her 3 girls, and the neighbor girls, to this pageant. After the pageant, all of us, including the pageant people, ate at Pizza Hut.  My mother and Lisa, one of the pageant people, shared a pizza.  Lisa mentioned no one ever orders what she loved pizza wise.  My mother was willing to listen.  When Lisa said it was Hawaiian pizza, my mother was so excited because she loved it too and the rest of the family didn’t go for it.  There in the pizza place, my mom and Lisa enjoyed pizza no one else ate.

I wish there was a small town in the Savannah area that I could drive to for a dinner. Just something to relive these days.  I live about 5 miles from a Cracker Barrel, so that charm is gone.  Sonic is about a mile and half away. The closest I can think of to driving to is Ridgeland, SC.  Maybe next weekend.

Reliving these memories are making me want to get some VHSs we have at my dad’s house and convert them to video.  Maybe next weekend as well.  It’s a holiday weekend.


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Family · Life · Music · Videos



“But just because it burns, doesn’t mean you’re gonna die / You gotta get up and try, and try, and try”
Posted on June 25th, 2016 @ 9:34 pm

This song may be about the hardships of love and the like, but the chorus I take as something related to depression. Some people wallow in their sadness. I admit I do it. But Lord knows I get up to try to get up and get back up.

People have been reaching out to me about this latest bout of depression and what I’m doing to get out of it. Here’s some of the items I do do:

  • I take my medication.I make sure I have people to talk to.
  • I strive to get out and do so stuff.
  • I travel.
  • I bought a second card to make sure I always had wheel.
  • I spend time on my hobbies.

Depression is something I’ve been battling for nearly 30 years now. It’s just a constant battle. There will be ebbs and there will be flows.


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Music · Videos



“Here I go again I promised myself I wouldn’t think of you today”
Posted on June 22nd, 2016 @ 7:20 pm

Dreams are a silly thing, aren’t they?  They come out of nowhere and can leave you happy or sad.

The other day I had such a dream, sadly. I was off taking photos of these beautiful roses.  They were yellow, with the edge of each flower in that pink-peach color some other roses come in.  I love the peach color roses are the orange ones.

And around the corner was him, the subject of my poem, Looking Back At 14.  I wrote that poem when I was like 20. We had known each other only for a few months.

In the dream, he came out of the shadows and brought along a camera to photography what I wanted to photograph. He had a great big smile and was wanted to do anything I was doing at that time. He was happy to be with me.

I woke up crying.

Was he in my dream because he represented what I want out of life?  Someone that wants to be with me?

For those few months when I was 14, he wanted to be with me.   He, not me, went out of the way to strike up a friendship.

He’s long gone.  I don’t know what happened to him.  Probably still off married and happy with kids.  As for me?  Still alone in many ways.


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Life



Looking Back At 14
Posted on June 22nd, 2016 @ 7:09 pm

I was thinking of you just the other day
Then I heard the news today
That you had gone another way

You were never mine for the start
Yet you earned a placed in my heart
And I feel I have to say

You made me a little stronger
Made me feel good a little longer
Your smile was just enough to cheer me up

Thank you for everything

Now I hope your life is full of bliss
Not a moment you want to miss
Remember to cherish it all

I know we went our separate ways
But I remember all the days
Like it was just last fall

One day we may meet again
Remember good times and grin
But until then let me just say

Thank you for everything

–S.A.L March 22, 1999.

Writer’s note:
This poem I wrote right after I heard about 2 friends that I lost contact with after moving to away from the city we lived in were now married. No, they did not marry each other because as far as I know they didn’t know each other. But trust me, they’re not a couple. Anyway, I remember all the good times I had with them and I hope that they have all the best with their spouses and families. At the same time, I feel like an old maid hearing about their marriages but I know in my heart I will find Mr. NotPerfectButHe’sGreatForMe soon. By the way, this poem may sound more like it is towards a guy but that the way the poem flowed out of my brain. I can’t help how it goes!


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Poetry and Prose



Posted some old poems
Posted on June 19th, 2016 @ 7:58 pm

Posted under the Poetry and Prose section some old poems I wrote like 15 years ago or longer.

Looking back, I was a really lonely person that wouldn’t open up to others.


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Maintenance



Wicked
Posted on June 19th, 2016 @ 7:52 pm

This isn’t love
Only sexual chemistry

It’s only lust
Wanting you caressing me.

I’m not being rational
It’s only something natural

The inner forces in me.
My evil mind

My evil dreams
They just somehow

Know how to destroy me.
Showing me to something

I should not want,
I should not need.

What it is about you
That’s captured my wild side?

I’ll do anything for you, my master.
Your wish is my command.

Damn, now stop it.
I’m a sensible girl

Who turns to mush
At a scant of your sound.

You’re an evil thing, you know that.
And that evil is possessing me.

I need to learn I deserve better
But until that day I’ll play your wicked game.

©1998-2002 S.A.L.

Writer’s note:
This started out as another song lyric I wrote. I found it after my computer crash and decided to finish it out as a poem. It’s not really about anyone.


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Poetry and Prose



My Haunting
Posted on June 19th, 2016 @ 7:50 pm

Why do I let you haunt me?
You’re a small figure from the past.
I can not say I truly loved you.
I never knew you that well.

I thought I got over you.
I should have gotten over you
Yet after all this time,
You’re still there.

I wonder what happened to you.
Are you single?
Are you married?
Do you still remember me?

I can still see you face.
I still remember you smile.
I hear your voice still.
What’s the hell wrong with me?

You’re somewhere I’ll never get know,
I’ll never get to see.
Why why why?
Why must I still let you haunt me?

I know I’ll let you go soon.
Like I thought I did before.
I’ll find the man that was meant for me.
‘Till that happens, I’ll never be free.

© S.A.L. 11/8/01- On 11/6/01, I had a blast into the past. This client’s last name was the same as the first name of this kid I had a crush on in high school. Admit his name? Never! The name of the street she lives on was the same as his middle name. Well, the past few days, he’s been haunting my mind. I wrote this as a way to cope, I guess.


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Poetry and Prose



Mourning
Posted on June 19th, 2016 @ 7:46 pm

I’m mourning for something
And I don’t know what.
This wave of melancholy has with a brute force,
Like a wave crashing onto the shore.

I wish I knew what I’m mourning for.
Nothing dramatic has happened to me.
I should be happy.
My old friends are appearing again.

Why must this mourning be happening?
Is it the influx of memories from my past?
Is it the realization that I may be stuck here?
I only wish I knew the answer.

Could it be the gloomy weather outside?
I honestly don’t know what it could be.
It’s just one of those pure mysteries;
A mystery engulfing me.

The only thing I know I’ll get out of this
Mourning I shouldn’t really be in
Is a little bit of hope.
Hope that get me through the high tides and low tides.

©2001 S.A.L.

Writer’s note:
I’ve been in a melancholy mood all this week (Week of 1-7-01). I can’t explain it. This is my way of trying to understand why.


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Poetry and Prose



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