Memorial Day Remembrance
Posted on May 30th, 2016 @ 11:35 am

Donald Alexander Ross

This is my great-uncle Donald A. Ross. Donald Ross Road in Palm Beach County is named for him, not the golf course designer, as many want to believe.

He died in 1944 during the Battle of the Bulge.  He is buried in Lorraine American Cemetery in France.

He left behind his parents and his 3 sisters.  All of his sisters served as a WAAC.

He is one of the many faces we should be honoring on this Memorial Day.  He’s not a 50% off sale.

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Family · Flickr Photos · Holiday Greetings

“Candle in the water – Drifting helplessly”
Posted on May 30th, 2016 @ 11:14 am

Memorial Day is a day of remembering the men and women who died as members of the U.S. Armed Forces.  Today, for me, it’s just a day to reflect on the death I’ve just encountered in the past 2 weeks.

We buried my cousin Melissa today.

I am SO sick of death. It started with C.C. being sick.  Before we had the chance to put him down, Nancy called me to tell me she had to place her beloved dog Bastian down.  The day we put C.C. down, we got the terrible news that my cousin Melissa was on the brink of death.  She died the next day.

My family made a convoy to Nashville for the funeral and to be with the family. My dad and I were on the way when we got the call. My sisters and my brother-in-law showed up the day after we did.  My brother couldn’t come until the morning of the remembrance, which was the day before the actual funeral.

While in Nashville, I got to meet new family members and saw little India for about an hour.  India was so happy to see me.  I wasn’t sure if she would remember me, but she did. One of the few bright spots of the trip; the other was taking Nicki, Beth, and Ben to The Loveless Cafe.

Towards the end of the remembrance, I broke down crying. My father and my cousin Michael, Melissa’s brother, had to check on me because I was sobbing. I was thinking of how I wanted to be just like Melissa.  I was thinking of ways I did become like Melissa.  I was also sobbing for if I had just know some things about her, if she had just been a little more open, could I have been able to stop her from dying. Fear of what’s happening to me, being single at this age and fear of always being single. I was crying for both of us.

Yesterday, as I was coming home from the grocery store, I heard “Where Does My Heart Beat Now.” I wanted to lose it in the car. I just felt so alone.  My sobfest from a few days ago hit me again.  I have a fear of being alone one day.

However, the Grim Reaper couldn’t leave me alone yesterday, either.  I found out one of my mother’s cousins lost her husband yesterday. I got the call within the hour it happened in an attempt to get my uncle to know what’s going on.  The cousin and my uncle live in the same town in Missouri. I met the cousin and her husband when I went to Missouri last year. They were cool.

On this Memorial Day, I’m just tired of death.  I’m just tired and afraid.

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Family · Flickr Photos

Never Easy Letting Go
Posted on May 17th, 2016 @ 7:12 pm


Struggling behind me on a heating pad is C.C. He doesn’t have much longer in the world. If hurts to say it.  He’s at least 16-years-old.  He had to be born in 1999; we’ve had him as a family member since 2000.  He showed up 3 days after our cat Butterball died.  We weren’t ready for another cat, but life thought we were.

C.C. chose my sister, Beth, as his person. When she was still in school, he’d be waiting for her to come home.  When she went to camp out-of-state, he was not happy.  My mother had to take him to N.C. when she brought Beth home.

This photo is one of my favorite of him.

None of my siblings have kids.  I don’t have kids.  So, yes, our pets are our babies. And even if we did have kids, the pets are still our babies.

With four other animals at 10+ years of age, the next few years are going to be hard.

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Family · Flickr Photos

“In the instant that you love someone / In the second that the hammer hits”
Posted on May 16th, 2016 @ 6:01 pm

I wish I had found The One. There is one that is forever in the back of my mind of what could have been. There is one in that used me.  There is one that hurt me. But there has never been The One that loves me and gets me.

Today is one of those days I fear there is no The One for me. I can cry about it, or I can keep enjoying life.  Today, I’m going to enjoy life.

As to how I got this way today, I think it’s the end of the year items I see.  People celebrating their children, the spouses achieving the end game goals, and seeing kids enjoying their prom at the hotel I stayed at.   It’s the fear of being unknown. As for all my friend proud of your kids and your significant others, please know I’m happy and proud of them, too.

Just had to get this off my chest.  Now back to some photo editing.

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Life · Videos

Let’s Stop with the Bathroom Crap
Posted on May 13th, 2016 @ 8:41 am

Here’s my take on the bathroom issue.

If a Caitlyn Jenner wants to use the women’s room, that fine with me.   I already used the bathroom with male-to-female transsexuals.  I also used the bathroom with straight and lesbian women.  We have a code in the bathroom.  It’s not about hitting on one another.  We help one another.  If there is a fight in the bathroom, we protect our own. We are all sisters in there.

If a Chaz Bono wants to use the men’s room, power to him.  I don’t know what male bathroom protocol is, so I can’t comment on it.

If you’re someone that wants to kill a Brandon Teena or a Gwen Araujo, then YOU are the one with the problem.  I don’t give a hoot how a trans lives his or her life until it infringes on how I live.  Using the bathroom is something I don’t consider to be an infringement.

However, what I do care about is allowing a male that sexually preys on the women into they bathroom.  Do you REALLY want to allow sexual predator, a Ted Bundy so to say, open access to your sisters, mothers, wives, or daughters?  Just because it may not have happened, yet, doesn’t mean it won’t happen with open bathroom policy. This WILL be a unintended consequence of this open bathroom policy.  I’m sure men wouldn’t want an Aileen Wuornos picking up her victims in the bathroom, either.

“Well, what a about a male-to-male predator in the men’s room?”  I really wish we could stop the Dennis Hasterts and Jerry Sanduskys of the world from preying upon young boys in bathroom. There are also female-on-female killers, like the poor case of little Sandra Cantu.  For this problem, there is no one solution to fix it.

That’s where I love the idea of the family bathroom.  My mother would have used them when we were kids.  She never liked my brother going into the men’s room alone.  She always took him into the women’s room.  I know at times my brother hated it. He hated me taking him to the bathroom. I remember my father taking me into the men’s room when I was about 5.  It was just the two of us on a errand run and he needed to use it.  He placed me into a corner.  I’m sure he wasn’t thrilled about that.  A family room would have made life easier for all of us.

So, I see the origins of this issue, the Charlotte, NC bathroom law. was to protect the Caitlyns, Gwens, Brandons, and Chazs of the world, it also opened the bathrooms up to the Teds and Aileens, too.

Let’s go back to men’s rooms and women’s room.  However, when it comes to transgenders, don’t ask, don’t tell while in the room. MTF come into mine, I’m cool. Your privates are your privates.  My privates are my privates. Let’s have that third bathroom known as the open bathroom.  That family stall or unisex and/or handicapped stall like I’ve grown up having.

However, all this fighting about it and the state vs. feds mentally has to stop.  We’re tearing ourselves apart.  And yes, there are more important issues we should be fighting over and discussing over. Where Caitlyn Jenner pees is not one of them.

Apologies to Caitlyn Jenner on this post.  At the time I write this, you are the most famous trans in our county.

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Politics & Current Events

Tetris/Dr. Mario
Posted on May 8th, 2016 @ 12:05 pm

Happy Mother’s Day!

Since my mother has passed away, I just thought I’d share a memory of her.

Summer of 1991, for about 3 weeks, we spent in Nashville at my grandmother’s house.  Grandmother only had over-the-air TV, and it was poor reception at that.  She also only had a single window A/C unit in the living room.  As a result, my mother, siblings, and I were off visiting people, spending the day in my Grandma and Grandpa’s pool, or playing Nintendo in the closed living room.

One day, my mother asked Nicki and me how to play Tetris.  It looked interesting to her.  We taught her how to play and that day, we created a monster.  She started demanding playing time, too. By the time we left Nashville to return home to NC, my mother cold get to Level 6 in Tetris.

One day, she ended up trading Tetris for a couple of other games.  I don’t think she meant for it to be permanent, but the neighbor moved and we never got it back.  She started suffering from Tetris withdrawal and Tetris dreams. She sought an alternative.  We offered her Dr. Mario as the alternative.

Before she started playing Dr. Mario, she thought I was insane wanting to strangle my brother when I was down to 4 viruses from completing Level 20 at the high speed.  It was going to be my first time beating the level, but my brother kicked the Nintendo and it reset the entire playing session.  Eventually, as she played Dr. Mario, the more she understood the anger from that day.

Joke was on her.  The first time she was close to beating Level 20 high, she was 4 viruses away when it blocked up on her.  She was so angry.  I threw her words right back at her.  If looks could kill.

For Christmas 1996, my dad got her one of most favored gifts ever.  He got her the Tetris/Dr. Mario combo pack.  Some days, all she would do is play the game because it brought her peace the rest of her days failed to give her. By this time, Grandmother, her mother, was sick and needed care.  Being a caregiver is hard work.

My mother would play against me, but she had certain rules.  I had to play at a much higher level than her in all the games.  She made me play with less time.  I would have to sit there in a 20 minute game, waiting for 10 minutes before I could play.  In Dr. Mario, I was not allowed to trash her.

If she were alive today, she’d still be playing those games.  Even today, she might be playing it at this minute.

I miss her.

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Family · Life

The Wanderlust is Back
Posted on May 5th, 2016 @ 5:47 pm

This past weekend, Nicki and I went to our old stomping grounds, the CSRA. We spent our younger childhood there. As we drove through Augusta, my sister said the same as I have the past few years. It’s tired looking. It doesn’t look like anyone cares about the city anymore. It’s quite sad to feel that way.

However, on the east side of the Savannah, the Aiken area looks a lot more alive. It seems like it’s cared for. Did everyone in Augusta that cared for it and could afford to move head to that side of the river? There was a vast difference between Richmond County and Aiken County.

We stayed mostly on the Aiken side of the river. We drove up to see Amy Grant, Ellie Holcomb, and Nichole Nordeman perform together. The show format was the same as the Amy Grant show I saw in Greenville, SC earlier this year.

Live Life Together Tour

Overall, it was a great show. I loved the new music I was introduced to from Nichole and Ellie.  I downloaded their latest when I got home.  I loved the fact I FINALLY got to see “Every Heartbeat” live.  Nicki and I had front row seats, and we were dancing in our seats singing along together.  Between that and the fact that the venue didn’t have that many people appear, we’re certain Amy could see us enjoying the show.

The trip, however, stirred up my wanderlust again.

Before leaving SC to head back into GA, I read up about The Little Boy and we stopped there.

What were you running from?

I don’t recall ever hearing about The Little Boy in my youth. I’m a little curious as to why.  Based on the story of the little boy,  if it was haunted, I’d think my mother would talk about it.

Next month, I have a week off from work.  I have 2 days worth of activities planned.  Now to plan the rest of the week off.

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